


Prayers of Purgatory

by Fandom_Stuff



Series: A Collection of Ficlets [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean POV & Cas POV, Destiel - Freeform, Pining, Purgatory, prayers, rated mature for language, that doesn’t come to fruition cuz I’m following canon material :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Stuff/pseuds/Fandom_Stuff
Summary: Stuck in Purgatory and separated from Castiel, Dean does the only thing he can think of to try and reach the angel, he prays. Every night, he prays. But Castiel, while hearing his prayers, does not answer them.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Castiel
Series: A Collection of Ficlets [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888318
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Prayers of Purgatory

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is just a little one-shot thing that I decided to write because I've had this idea for a while and wanted to get it out there. Please enjoy :)

**Dean**

Dean stared up at the dark starless sky as he tried to let his breathing even out. Blood was slowly drying down the side of his face and he could feel dirt caking his ears and forehead, but he didn’t care, he was too tired to care about personal hygiene. The four dead vampires he’d killed were a five minute walk away from where he’d finally decided to succumb to his exhaustion and climb a tree so he could try to get some shuteye.

He knew he should have kept walking, that five minutes from his latest kills was too close, but he couldn’t fight his body anymore and he knew if he didn’t stop soon he’d end up asleep on the ground face first, where any monster could find him. 

Now, leaning against the rough bark of the tree he’d selected to hide in, his exhausted brain sparked to life with one thought and one thought only: Cas. 

“Cas please,” Dean whispered to the air. “You have to hear me, please man.” 

He didn’t know how long he’d been searching for the angel, but it felt like years when in reality he knew it had to only be months. But every night since then, _every fucking night_ , Dean had prayed to Castiel, without fail. He hoped Cas might show up if he prayed enough, but it was also his way of letting the angel know he was still alive. So, every night Dean prayed, and every night Cas didn’t answer. With each lack of response, the more worried Dean got that his best friend was dead.

“I don’t know why you ran… or flew… or whatever, I know you had to have had a reason, but...” his voice wavered, “I miss you… I need you here… with me… please.” 

He shut his eyes and a lone tear dripped down his face, leaving its trail through the blood, sweat, and dirt that had become like a second skin to him. 

“Cas if you’re alive, please answer me… do something… _anything_. I’m begging here, man, just let me know you’re okay.” 

The agony of not knowing where Cas was, if he was alive or dead, was almost more painful than the wounds that Dean had picked up in the many fights he’d had to endure to keep his life. The deep cuts and scratches that overlapped bruises that overlapped more bruises, had become dull aches that he had grown accustomed to, but the ache in his heart, that longed to be beside Cas, was something that hurt more and more each day. 

Dean couldn’t explain it. No one had ever made him feel this way before, not even Lisa. He wasn’t ready to admit that he was falling, and falling hard, for a celestial being, but he was growing desperate, and if that was the only way to get Cas back then maybe..

“Cas,” Dean said in a raspy whisper, his body was starting to give out, begging for rest but Dean was ready to say the words that he was sure would bring Cas back to his side, words that Cas couldn’t ignore, words that had been on the tip of his tongue for ages…

“I-” 

His mouth dropped open as a snore rattled through him, sleep finally claiming him and the sentence hanging unfinished in the air, the _I love you_ only moments away from being spoken. 

**Castiel**

Castiel wiped his hands on his trench coat, that was becoming filthier with each passing day, and then crouched down beside a tree to lie in wait for the next monster that might decide to attack him. 

Castiel was growing tired of running and fighting, he’d been so adamant to avoid conflict, to change his ways and become peaceful, but in Purgatory, that was not an option. It was kill or be killed and while Castiel didn’t particularly value his life, he had to stay alive, for Dean. 

As long as he was alive, the monsters would chase him, his grace would be like a beacon to all the starving creatures in the forest and there would be less monsters racing after Dean. 

He missed Dean terribly. 

But every time he thought about returning to him, answering all those prayers that Dean sent to him in desperation, he reminded himself that he had to stay away. Endangering Dean was not an option, he could not afford to be selfish. 

Everyday, when he had caught some rare time to himself away from the hungry jaws of monsters, Castiel replayed some of his favorite prayers Dean had sent him. Hearing Dean’s voice in his head always helped to calm him, and those were the prayers he chose to listen to now. 

**_Day 20:_ ** _“Cas, you got your ears on? I know you can hear me if you’re alive out there, and even if you’re not going to get your feathery ass over here, I’m still going to talk to you. You can’t get rid of me that easily, not even in fucking Purgatory. I’m not going anywhere Cas, the only way these prayers stop is if I die, and I’m not dying before I can see you again.”_

**_Day 45:_ ** _“Cas, you’ll never believe it, I took on six Leviathans and somehow made it out alive. Not quite sure how it happened, considering they were all practically on top of me at once. It was a hard day today, I barely had time to catch something to eat, but I’m still kicking, and I’m going to find you.”_

**_Day 58:_ ** _“Hey Cas. I shaved today. I took a blade to my face beside a damn river and I did my best to get off all the stupid itchy hair that was honestly becoming too much to handle. I don’t know why you’d care, but since you’re not answering me I’ll just annoy you with my prayers, until you get so fed up with me that you’ll have to show up just to tell me to stop. Would that work, Cas? If I pray enough will you get so pissed that you’ll finally show your sorry ass and stop running from me? No? Okay then. Until tomorrow.”_

**_Day 97:_ ** _“Cas, please answer me. This is getting ridiculous, all this running and hiding, every minute I think I’m getting closer to you the farther away you get. Cas… I just got you back… we just found you again… I thought you were dead before, I thought I’d never get to see you again, but the second you got a chance you ran off...Look, I just want you to be okay. If any of these monsters are actually telling me the truth and you’re dead, I’m going to… I don’t know what I’m going to do, but it won’t be anything good. I don’t even know if you’re getting these anymore or if you somehow turned off your prayer antennae or whatever you angels use to hear prayers, but if you can hear me, I’m never going to stop looking for you... Goodnight, Cas.”_

**_Day 177:_ ** _“Cas, if you don’t fucking show yourself soon I think I’m going to go mad… What I wouldn’t do for some beer right about now, I could really use a drink. I think that’s the first thing we should do once we get back to the real world, if we ever do, I don’t even know if we can, but if we do I’m pouring us both some whiskey and we’re doing shots and I don’t care that you won’t be able to feel anything from it, we’re doing it anyway.... I miss Sam. I wonder how he’s doing up there, I’m sure he’s going insane not being able to find us. If we don’t find a way out of here ourselves, I know Sam won’t rest until he figures out how to get us back home. I miss you too, you know. But I wouldn’t have to miss you if you’d just answer a damn one of my prayers. I bet you think I’m getting tired of praying every night, well I’m not, so don’t think these are gonna stop. Well I’m gonna see if I can catch an hour of sleep without something trying to eat me. You’ll hear from me again tomorrow.”_

  
  


Castiel didn’t know why he liked those prayers in particular, they varied in being funny and serious but he enjoyed listening to them because they were so very… Dean. 

He loved Dean. He knew he did. He felt something around Dean that no angel was ever supposed to feel, but he couldn’t help it, even when he knew Dean couldn’t possibly love him back. That didn’t stop him from making sure that he gave all of himself to keep Dean safe, and he would continue to do so until he met his demise. 

As Castiel was about to replay another one of Dean’s prayers while he waited for the night to turn into day, he heard the soft whisper of Dean’s voice echoing inside his head. 

_“Cas please… you have to hear me man...I don’t know why you ran… or flew… or whatever, I know you had to have had a reason, but..._ ” 

Dean’s voice waved, he was clearly trying to hold back tears and Castiel felt his heart breaking inside his chest. Dean had never cried while praying to him before and Castiel realized just how close Dean was to breaking, how worn down and exhausted he was from searching for him and fighting his way through wave after wave of monsters. 

_“I miss you… I need you here… with me… please.”_

Castiel could feel himself being pulled towards Dean, and he desperately wanted to go to him, to be _with_ him like Dean had asked, but he couldn’t. 

_“Cas if you’re alive, please answer me… do something… anything. I’m begging here, man, just let me know you’re okay.”_

As he spoke each word, Dean’s voice cracked with tears. His pleas were whispered and raw and it pained Castiel to hear the man he loved sound so broken. He was close to Dean, he could feel it. Maybe a day’s trip for Dean by foot, of course it would take Castiel only a few seconds to get to him… 

_No_. 

He pushed down his feelings and waited for Dean to continue.

_“Cas… I-”_

Castiel felt the connection break as Dean trailed off. 

Fear suddenly sparked through him, coursing like electricity as he suddenly worried that something had found Dean and that he was in danger. 

_He probably just fell asleep_. Castiel reasoned to himself. If the sound of Dean’s worn down voice was any indication, the man was tired and must have just nodded off. But Castiel knew that speculating the reason for Dean’s abrupt end to his prayer was only going to end up with more worry for the worst. 

He had to check on him. 

If Dean was in danger there was no sense in hiding. 

Without another moment of hesitation, Castiel locked on to the location that had been sent along with Dean’s prayer and he let his wings carry him across the dark planes of Purgatory. 

The moment he appeared under the tree, he knew that his worries had been for nothing. He couldn’t sense any monsters nearby, only the one life-form that was propped up in the top of the tree he was currently standing under. 

He wanted to call up to Dean, wanted to speak to his friend again, hear his voice in person and wrap his arms around him and never let go; but Dean was safe, and so he knew he had to leave. 

He paused to take in Dean’s soft features as he slept. The tired lines around his eyes were smoothed out while he was in the depths of sleep, and his quiet snores accompanied the steady rise and fall of his chest. Castiel wished he could heal the wounds on Dean’s body, but he resisted that urge and instead took one last look at Dean before whispering softly up to him.

“I hear your prayers, Dean. I’m doing this to keep you safe, please forgive me...I love you.” 

He hoped that he’d be able to properly reunite with Dean someday, but that day was not today, and so, with the flutter of wings, Castiel was gone, leaving Dean to his dreams.


End file.
